• Understand Where You Are And
    Learn To Influence Where You’re Going

    Because If What You Have Is Worth It, You Want To Work It Out.

    Yearly Archives: 2012

    Anxious Pet and People Parenting

    Anxious pet parents are probably anxious people parents. My mother and I head out for a day of shopping and lunch when her (perfectly coiffed) Bichon Frise scoots between my legs and out the front door.  The fancy doggie bounces across the neighbors’ lawns and directly toward the street. Mom yells frantically, “Samantha, come here,

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    Healing From an Affair

    Understanding Marital Infidelity: The Key to Healing From an Affair

    The key to healing from an affair lies in making the effort to understand, really understand, how you and your mate have been operating in your relationship. Dwayne* came in for therapy after discovering that his wife, Gina, had been seeing another man for the past six months. He was   understandably devastated and confused. 

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    Affair-Proof Your Marriage

    Affair-Proof your marriage, 4 Do’s and 4 Don’ts

    Maybe some folks get married with the thought that it’s o.k. to have an affair or two along the way. After all, marriage lasts a long time, right? But surely this is not true for most people. Almost everyone assumes that if their spouse cheated on them it would be a deal breaker. And almost

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    Office Romance

    2 Universal Truths about Affairs

    Everyone knows it’s wrong to cheat when they’re in a in a relationship. Yet despite the predictable terrible consequences, infidelity has always been, and probably always will be, part of the relationship landscape. The question is, why? In my last blog post I exposed some common myths about affairs. Now it’s time for the truth. Truth #1:  There is

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    infidelity

    4 Common Myths about Infidelity

    Infidelity Myths Exposed People have lots of theories about why infidelity is as common as it is. Most of these theories don’t hold water. It is difficult to deal with an issue that is so painful and destructive to families. Therefore, it is important to try to have an accurate, objective understanding of what’s really happening when

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    Tearing Away to Grow Up

    Selma, 38, has come in to therapy because of an on-going conflict with her daughter, Salina.   Salina is 19 years-old and, according to her mother, her behavior has recently spiraled out of control.   Selma was married to Salina’s father, William, until Salina was 9.   That’s when William got caught having an affair with a co-worker

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    Giving up to Go Along

    What does it mean to accommodate, or give up “self”, to preserve harmony? Ellis is a 53 year-old father of two. His wife, Stacy, is 51. Ellis runs a successful insurance business and Stacy is a homemaker. Their kids, Evan, 22, and Sheri, 19, are living at home. Evan started college at 18 but quit

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    Time Together, Time Apart

    Chloe:  When we met, my husband was so attentive.  He was always buying me flowers, calling, stopping by my work-sometimes it was even a little too much.  Now that we’ve been together for a few years he never does that stuff anymore.  He doesn’t even seem that interested in sex.  I’ve stopped initiating because I’m

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    How to get the most out of Therapy Using Family Systems Theory

    Here are some helpful suggestions about how get the most out of your work in therapy: During sessions: If you are coming in as a couple for marriage counseling or relationship counseling, strengthen your ability to listen while your partner talks with the therapist.  Refrain from interrupting and check with your internal reactions as you’re

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