In my recent newsletter I addressed the difference between “Solid-Self” and “No-Self” behavior. In this post I’ll describe another aspect of what it means to operate from a solid-self rather than a no-self perspective: Daisy (not her real name) has been a client for the past several months. She takes her therapy seriously by making goals for
Category Archives: Siblings
Q: My husband and I are having a lot of problems lately. I asked him to come to marriage counseling but he says I’m the one with the problem so I should just go by myself. How can we work on our relationship if he won’t even admit he has a problem? Q: My daughter,
Yesterday was a perfect day. My son was home from college for Thanksgiving. We made plans to spend the afternoon together and he asked if his 10 year-old brother (from his father’s second marriage) could join us. As he knew I would, I jumped at the opportunity for some Modern Family-style togetherness. I like spending time
Shayna is 32 years old and attending her first therapy appointment. She’s decided to enter therapy because she’s been feeling depressed and lethargic. She reports that she’s avoiding her friends and not participating in the activities she used to enjoy. She’s also gained about 25 pounds which has her really upset. She knows it would
The term emotional system refers to any group of people who have developed interdependencies to the point where the resulting system through which they are connected (administratively, physically, or emotionally) has evolved its own principles of organization.__A family emotional system includes the members’ thoughts, feelings, emotions, fantasies, and associations, their past connections individually and together.
Carol has started therapy because of her concerns about her younger sister, Kaitlyn. Carol is 33 and is a bank branch manager. She has been married to Fred, 35, for 10 years. They have one child, Douglas, 8. Kaitlyn, 29, is recently unemployed and living back home with her parents. Carol and Kaitlyn are the
“…triangles are the smallest stable building block of any emotional system….a two-person system is stable as long as anxiety is low, but when it rises it automatically draws in the most vulnerable third person and becomes a triangle. Although the triangular process in families is always shifting, it also involves patterns that repeat over time,