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    Learn To Influence Where You’re Going

    Because If What You Have Is Worth It, You Want To Work It Out.

    Category Archives: Siblings

    Sisters

    Solid-Self and No-Self Behavior, Another Perspective

    In my recent newsletter I addressed the difference between “Solid-Self” and “No-Self” behavior.  In this post I’ll describe another aspect of what it means to operate from a solid-self rather than a no-self perspective: Daisy (not her real name) has been a client for the past several months.  She takes her therapy seriously by making goals for

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    Your Family is an Emotional System

    Q:  My husband and I are having a lot of problems lately.  I asked him to come to marriage counseling but he says I’m the one with the problem so I should just go by myself.  How can we work on our relationship if he won’t even admit he has a problem? Q:  My daughter,

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    Growing Apart: A Case of Not Enough, or Too Much?

    Shayna is 32 years old and attending her first therapy appointment.  She’s decided to enter therapy because she’s been feeling depressed and lethargic.  She reports that she’s avoiding her friends and not participating in the activities she used to enjoy.  She’s also gained about 25 pounds which has her really upset.  She knows it would

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    The Family Emotional System

    The term emotional system refers to any group of people who have developed interdependencies to the point where the resulting system through which they are connected (administratively, physically, or emotionally) has evolved its own principles of organization.__A family emotional system includes the members’ thoughts, feelings, emotions, fantasies, and associations, their past connections individually and together.

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    Stepfamily Challenges

    “…triangles are the smallest stable building block of any emotional system….a two-person system is stable as long as anxiety is low, but when it rises it automatically draws in the most vulnerable third person and becomes a triangle.  Although the triangular process in families is always shifting, it also involves patterns that repeat over time,

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