8 Benefits of Coaching with a Marriage and Family Therapist Trained In Bowen Family Systems Theory:
1. Your Coach will help you develop clarity about your own thoughts, opinions and beliefs on the important issues in your life.
- You can learn to “hold onto” these beliefs while withstanding emotional pressure from others to revert to old thinking, patterns, and behavior.
2. With guidance from your Coach you can learn to recognize the emotional patterns in your important relationship systems (family, work, etc.).
- You can learn to recognize your part in perpetuating these patterns, and make changes where indicated.
3. Your Coach will assist you in your efforts to take solid “I” positions in your life.
- Many people speak using “You” language (You need to do this, you never do that, you always…)
- “I” positions empower self; “You” positions give all the power to the other person (I will be happy if You do this…)
4. Your Coach will help you learn where you are taking too much responsibility or not enough.
- Overfunctioning, or doing more than your share, may make you feel important and needed, but it undermines the functioning of others. This heaps unnecessary and unhelpful burden on you, leading to resentment and anxiety, and leaving you at risk for developing symptoms.
- Underfunctioning, or doing less than your share, may make you feel nurtured and cared for, but it also leaves you disempowered, resentful, and likewise at risk for developing symptoms.
5. Your Coach understands that relationship patterns are passed down through the generations of your family.
- Your Coach will help you learn about these patterns in your family, and to understand them without blaming any individual for family problems.
6. Your Coach will work with you to develop more mature relationships with your parents, partner, and children.
- This frees up everyone to act more maturely and to be their best selves.
7. You can work with a Bowen Family Systems trained coach by yourself or with your partner.
- The Coach looks at your situation from a dynamic relationship perspective, will not take sides, and will help you to make your own decisions, no matter who is in the room.
8. Your Coach will assist you in your efforts to develop the skills to be a leader of your own life, no matter what you do for a living, or what your position in your family.
- The “Low Man on the Totem Pole” or the “Baby in the Family” have equal ability to take responsibility for self and therefore be a positive influence in a relationship system.