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Giving up to Go Along

What does it mean to accommodate, or give up “self”, to preserve harmony? Ellis is a 53 year-old father of two. His wife, Stacy, is 51. Ellis runs a successful insurance business and Stacy is a homemaker. Their kids, Evan, 22, and Sheri, 19, are living at home. Evan started college at 18 but quit

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Time Together, Time Apart

Chloe:  When we met, my husband was so attentive.  He was always buying me flowers, calling, stopping by my work-sometimes it was even a little too much.  Now that we’ve been together for a few years he never does that stuff anymore.  He doesn’t even seem that interested in sex.  I’ve stopped initiating because I’m

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How to get the most out of Therapy Using Family Systems Theory

Here are some helpful suggestions about how get the most out of your work in therapy: During sessions: If you are coming in as a couple for marriage counseling or relationship counseling, strengthen your ability to listen while your partner talks with the therapist.  Refrain from interrupting and check with your internal reactions as you’re

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Your Family is an Emotional System

Q:  My husband and I are having a lot of problems lately.  I asked him to come to marriage counseling but he says I’m the one with the problem so I should just go by myself.  How can we work on our relationship if he won’t even admit he has a problem? Q:  My daughter,

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It’s the Individual And the System

While listening to media personalities speculate about the circumstances and cause of Whitney Houston’s untimely passing I’ve heard several people say with certainty; “No one was there for Whitney”. There have also been statements to the effect, “Living in the limelight is overwhelming and celebrities are surrounded by enablers who give them anything they want.”

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Family Systems Theory-A Holistic Approach

HOLISTIC; adjective /hōˈlistik/ Characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole Characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical symptoms of a disease In the past, a school teacher may have said that

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Are you a Reckless Rescuer?

Margo didn’t really want therapy for herself.  She had called about her 23 year-old son, Stephan.  She was hoping I’d see him for therapy to help “straighten him out”.  I told her I don’t work with kids that age if they are still living at home and financially dependent on their parents, which was the

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