Category Archives: Families

The Family Mindset: A Shared Perceptual Field in the Emotional Unit of the Family

            I recently finished reading the challenging book, “Empire of Pain, The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty”, written by Patrick Radden Keefe.* I use the word challenging both because of its 535 pages, and its subject matter. For the Sackler family referred to in the title is widely considered to

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Too Young to Drink, Drive or Enlist, but Old Enough to Fix the Family?

  Many readers will disagree with the premise of this article. I’ve lost clients over this point, even long-term clients who generally agree with the family systems perspective. Certainly, there are literally thousands of therapists who hold an opposing opinion. But over time I’ve become more clear on this issue: Minor children can’t legally drink alcohol,

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Finding Individuality During Pandemic-Induced Family Togetherness

When shelter-in-place began families almost celebrated the opportunity for increased time together. Adults lucky enough to work from home and able to afford it (big ifs) embraced the opportunity to slow down. Parents relished the breather from carpool, after-school activities, errands, social obligations and the keeping-up-with-the-Jones’ rat race. They instituted game nights, Zoom chats with

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You’re Not the Boss of Me/You Don’t Care About Me

Togetherness and Individuality are Fundamental Life Forces As recently as this June I had been anticipating a relatively laid-back summer. No big plans on the horizon after a lovely summer vacation. The Yiddish expression for what actually happened is, “Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht.” (“Man plans and God laughs.”) Instead of weeks of imagined leisure

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How to Help Silicon Valley Turn Your Kid into a Tech Addict

It’s not just Xbox, PlayStation, Apple, Google or Reddit turning kids into tech addicts. Parents are doing their part, too. Many, many parents worry their children have unhealthy obsessions with their electronics.  Frequent and fierce power struggles over tech time are the new normal. Tech manufacturers work hard to make their products as enticing as

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Public Displays Of Emotional Process

PDA: Public Displays of Affection. Some people love them, some people hate them. Now we have PDEPs: Public Displays of Emotional Process. I have a very large extended family. More than 40 second cousins on my father’s father’s side alone. With such a large group, political disagreements are inevitable, especially lately. Throughout the history of the family

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Introducing Neuroptimal Neurofeedback

I’m excited to announce the addition of Neuroptimal® neurofeedback in my private practice! Neurofeedback began in the late 50’s and 60’s as a reward system that could alter brain activity*.  Neuroptimal® brand neurofeedback (NO) is a modern and improved version of traditional neurofeedback, relying exclusively on a view of the brain “as an intelligent, self-organizing

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This Is Us, Systems Style

This is Us is a beloved, popular new TV show.  If the reader is one of the few who haven’t seen it already, a family of five is featured; parents Jack and Rebecca and their 3 children, Randall, Kevin, and Kate. Kate and Kevin are biological twins while the orphaned Randall, born on the same

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