Category Archives: Families

Public Displays Of Emotional Process

PDA: Public Displays of Affection. Some people love them, some people hate them. Now we have PDEPs: Public Displays of Emotional Process. I have a very large extended family. More than 40 second cousins on my father’s father’s side alone. With such a large group, political disagreements are inevitable, especially lately. Throughout the history of the family

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Introducing Neuroptimal Neurofeedback

I’m excited to announce the addition of Neuroptimal® neurofeedback in my private practice! Neurofeedback began in the late 50’s and 60’s as a reward system that could alter brain activity*.  Neuroptimal® brand neurofeedback (NO) is a modern and improved version of traditional neurofeedback, relying exclusively on a view of the brain “as an intelligent, self-organizing

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This Is Us, Systems Style

This is Us is a beloved, popular new TV show.  If the reader is one of the few who haven’t seen it already, a family of five is featured; parents Jack and Rebecca and their 3 children, Randall, Kevin, and Kate. Kate and Kevin are biological twins while the orphaned Randall, born on the same

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Are you a Mama Grizzly? Do you give your kids more help than they need?

What’s Wrong With Being a Mama Grizzly For Your Kids?

What’s Wrong With Being a Mama Grizzly For Your Kids? Silvina, a self-proclaimed “mama grizzly,” came in for a consultation because she was so worried about her daughter.  Laura, 22, had recently moved back home after she’d lost her job as a sales representative.  Silvina reported that Laura was sleeping late, refusing to apply for

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Sisters

Solid-Self and No-Self Behavior, Another Perspective

In my recent newsletter I addressed the difference between “Solid-Self” and “No-Self” behavior.  In this post I’ll describe another aspect of what it means to operate from a solid-self rather than a no-self perspective: Daisy (not her real name) has been a client for the past several months.  She takes her therapy seriously by making goals for

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Family Therapy

Systems Theory Versus Cause-and-Effect Thinking in Therapy

What are the differences between Systems Theory and Cause-and-Effect Thinking in Therapy? James* came into therapy after being arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol.  His M.D. told him he’s probably an alcoholic. Celia wants help due to conflict with her husband, Tomas. Art is in therapy because some days he’s too depressed to

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10 Reasons to Have a Relationship With a Family Member Who’s Been Mean to You

 “Why Should I Have a Relationship With a Family Member Who’s Been Mean to Me?” People who come to me for therapy know that I advocate developing and maintaining contact with as many members of the nuclear and extended family as possible.  Some clients are initially skeptical of this idea: You may have had conflict

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spoiled-brat

Are You an Anxious or Overly Permissive Parent?

The following are some of the characteristics of overly permissive parents that I consider most important.  Most of the parents are devoted to doing the best for their children.  In relationship with the parents, the youngster is driven by anxiety in demanding rights and freedom, and the material advantages of being grown up.  Initially the

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