Category Archives: Marriage

The Family Mindset: A Shared Perceptual Field in the Emotional Unit of the Family

            I recently finished reading the challenging book, “Empire of Pain, The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty”, written by Patrick Radden Keefe.* I use the word challenging both because of its 535 pages, and its subject matter. For the Sackler family referred to in the title is widely considered to

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This Is Us, Systems Style

This is Us is a beloved, popular new TV show.  If the reader is one of the few who haven’t seen it already, a family of five is featured; parents Jack and Rebecca and their 3 children, Randall, Kevin, and Kate. Kate and Kevin are biological twins while the orphaned Randall, born on the same

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Are you a Mama Grizzly? Do you give your kids more help than they need?

What’s Wrong With Being a Mama Grizzly For Your Kids?

What’s Wrong With Being a Mama Grizzly For Your Kids? Silvina, a self-proclaimed “mama grizzly,” came in for a consultation because she was so worried about her daughter.  Laura, 22, had recently moved back home after she’d lost her job as a sales representative.  Silvina reported that Laura was sleeping late, refusing to apply for

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5 Ways Working with a Clinician Trained in Bowen Family Systems Theory Can Help You Reduce or Relieve Symptoms

Working with a clinician trained in Bowen Family Systems Theory can help you to reduce or relieve your symptoms or symptoms in a family member.  This is because of the way BFST conceptualizes symptoms. What is a symptom? The dictionary says a symptom is; a physical or mental feature that is regarded as indicating a

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Session 3: Parents Create Change in the Family System

Jenny* and Stefan are parents having difficulty with their 7 year-old son, Nicholas. They have come into therapy to create change in their family system.  This is their third therapy session. Stefan:  I know we started seeing you for therapy because of Nicholas, but things are going much better with him lately.  Jen and I are

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Healing From an Affair

Understanding Marital Infidelity: The Key to Healing From an Affair

The key to healing from an affair lies in making the effort to understand, really understand, how you and your mate have been operating in your relationship. Dwayne* came in for therapy after discovering that his wife, Gina, had been seeing another man for the past six months. He was   understandably devastated and confused. 

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Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Affair-Proof your marriage, 4 Do’s and 4 Don’ts

Maybe some folks get married with the thought that it’s o.k. to have an affair or two along the way. After all, marriage lasts a long time, right? But surely this is not true for most people. Almost everyone assumes that if their spouse cheated on them it would be a deal breaker. And almost

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Office Romance

2 Universal Truths about Affairs

Everyone knows it’s wrong to cheat when they’re in a in a relationship. Yet despite the predictable terrible consequences, infidelity has always been, and probably always will be, part of the relationship landscape. The question is, why? In my last blog post I exposed some common myths about affairs. Now it’s time for the truth. Truth #1:  There is

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infidelity

4 Common Myths about Infidelity

Infidelity Myths Exposed People have lots of theories about why infidelity is as common as it is. Most of these theories don’t hold water. It is difficult to deal with an issue that is so painful and destructive to families. Therefore, it is important to try to have an accurate, objective understanding of what’s really happening when

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