Tag Archives: Autonomy

Your Family is an Emotional System

Q:  My husband and I are having a lot of problems lately.  I asked him to come to marriage counseling but he says I’m the one with the problem so I should just go by myself.  How can we work on our relationship if he won’t even admit he has a problem? Q:  My daughter,

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It’s the Individual And the System

While listening to media personalities speculate about the circumstances and cause of Whitney Houston’s untimely passing I’ve heard several people say with certainty; “No one was there for Whitney”. There have also been statements to the effect, “Living in the limelight is overwhelming and celebrities are surrounded by enablers who give them anything they want.”

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Are you a Reckless Rescuer?

Margo didn’t really want therapy for herself.  She had called about her 23 year-old son, Stephan.  She was hoping I’d see him for therapy to help “straighten him out”.  I told her I don’t work with kids that age if they are still living at home and financially dependent on their parents, which was the

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Growing Apart: A Case of Not Enough, or Too Much?

Shayna is 32 years old and attending her first therapy appointment.  She’s decided to enter therapy because she’s been feeling depressed and lethargic.  She reports that she’s avoiding her friends and not participating in the activities she used to enjoy.  She’s also gained about 25 pounds which has her really upset.  She knows it would

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The Family Emotional System

The term emotional system refers to any group of people who have developed interdependencies to the point where the resulting system through which they are connected (administratively, physically, or emotionally) has evolved its own principles of organization.__A family emotional system includes the members’ thoughts, feelings, emotions, fantasies, and associations, their past connections individually and together.

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Yet More Reasons Why Diets Don’t Work

There are many physiological reasons why diets don’t work.  This entry explains some emotional reasons why diets are doomed to fail. Diets reinforce an “external locus of control” vs. an “internal locus of control”.  One’s “locus” (Latin for “place” or “location”) can either be internal (meaning the person believes that they control their life) or

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The Challenge of Change

Whether we are considering a toothache, a tumor, a relational bind, a technical problem, crime, or the economy, most individuals and most social systems, irrespective of their culture, gender, or ethnic background, will “naturally” choose or revert to chronic conditions of bearable pain rather than face the temporarily more intense anguish of acute conditions that

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